Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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