The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
