If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
