So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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