In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
