He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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