do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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