Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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