this just has baby written all over it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
