the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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