Kiss
Puke
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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