Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize