How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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