I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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