wanna go halves on a baby?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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