the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
