my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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