PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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