We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
