I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
