batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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