You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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