He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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