does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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