just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
