I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
