we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
