i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
