I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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