Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
