My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
