Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
