I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
