Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
