so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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