Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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