It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
