No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
