what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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