He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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