I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
