If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
