i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
