Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
