I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize