It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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