He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
