well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
