I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is the high leading the old right now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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