My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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