Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
