just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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