The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
