ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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