Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
