T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
