you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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