and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
