I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
