How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
