Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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