We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
