Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet he comes in French.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
