She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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